Most dating advice centers around being as social as possible, which is useful as long as you’re an outgoing person. Meeting people at parties can be a great way to introduce yourself to numerous people in a short time span and figure out where there is chemistry.
On the other hand, if you’re the type of person who feels drained in a crowd, who would rather be hanging out solo or with a small group of friends, channeling your inner social butterfly can be counterproductive–not to mention inauthentic.
While the United States is one of the most extroverted nations in the world, there remains one-third to one-half of the population that tests as an introvert. Although dating may come easier to extroverts, it doesn’t have to be difficult for the introverts of our world. Like anyone, it takes playing to one’s strengths to be successful. Here are four essential tips to consider when dating.
Quick review: What is an introvert?
Introversion and shyness are not synonyms! That’s right. You can be an introvert and also perfectly able to socialize, give presentations, and talk to strangers. Shyness is a fear or anxiety of social situations; introversion simply means that you gain energy (mental and physical) from doing things alone. Reading a book, going on a solitary walk, taking a bath, or bicycling alone may help an introvert feel recharged.
Now that I know I’m an introvert, how do I find a date?
1. Go to the right places to meet people
The best places to meet someone are where you feel the most like yourself. Online dating eases some of the pressure of constant conversation and allows you to think of what you want to say rather than feeling pressured to think of immediate witty responses. Other low-pressure options include volunteering, taking classes, and using your network of friends and acquaintances.
2. Be upfront about who you are
Unfortunately, being quiet can give people the impression that you’re conceited or simply don’t care. Rather than let a date wonder if she’s doing something wrong, tell her in the beginning that you enjoy having some time to think about your words before saying them.
3. Ask questions
Generally, people’s favorite conversation topic is themselves. Play into this by asking fun, engaging questions of your date. What would you do if you were invisible for a day? What three questions would you ask your pet if he could talk? What has been your favorite family vacation?
4. Opt for fun
Alleviate some of the first date nerves by opting for a fun location where something else is the focus, yet you’re able to still talk to your date. Awkward pauses are no longer so awkward this way. Some ideas include a wine-and-painting workshop, an escape room, and a murder mystery interactive play.
It’s best to give yourself room to recharge before going on a date, so schedule some alone-time prior to heading out. Remember the strengths you bring to the table, and let them shine while you’re out and when you’re looking to meet someone.
About Jasbina Ahluwalia
She is an Indian-American Attorney-turned-Entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host, and Matchmaker/Dating Coach.
A finalist in OPRAH’S search for a TV Host, she’s also been featured in the New York Times, San Jose Mercury News, Chicago Tribune, Washington Post, Huffington Post, and Entrepreneur Magazine.
She has also moderated/participated on panels at Harvard Business School, Wharton, Northwestern, and Columbia.
Jasbina previously practiced law in San Francisco and Chicago. She earned her B.A/M.A. in Philosophy from Vanderbilt University, and JD from the University of Michigan Law School.
To learn about Intersections Match by Jasbina, please visit: www.IntersectionsMatch.com.
Jasbina can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.